I love Natasha Bedingfield's song on this issue when she wonders if everyone has a perfect match. We would all love to believe the universe has a special love for us....one who can love us the way we need the best. The trouble is that it is such a fanciful childish idea. How do we know what is best for us when we are so subjective to simple physical needs ? This subjectivity guides every sensual experience we have......whether it is sexual or any other form of physical comforting. Yeah...I write songs about it and I can tell story after story after story which fascinate and draw comparatives but the nuances of reality are missed by those who fail to fully experience the stages in our lives. For example......Suzanne once held a strong image of the last woman I'd ever fully connect with.......even while both of us recognized ours was but choice. I know now....that 'perfect match' isn't the case at all.
There are many out there who I could share life with in the same ways as with her.....but they must first reach beyond the boundaries imposed on them by cultural training. She has been a powerful muse......as is everyone....a reflection of desire to understand my own indiosyncratic attachment to living. Its not to say I don't love her ....for nothing could be further than the truth.....in fact I believe I love her better....now....than when I met her because I don't really NEED her anymore. This fact.....that she cannot provide me with a sense of self but can contribute to it in parallel ways....opens many doors of possibilities. She is the seventh in a long series of relationships to understand growth stages of my spirit.......no more.....but no less either.....and that I believe....is the most powerful way to live life. Ten years ago I asked for and was granted a wish, if you'll allow me the metaphor, a wish to find deep memories of the impressionistic images I experienced before I was around 5 years old. It has largely been the interactions with Suzanne which allowed me this experience. I have since learned to understand how children 'connect' through experience to our world in a much deeper way and why a child needs reassurance in its struggle for independence and I do not mean in some contrived sociological manner....I mean encouragement far beyond acceptable social practices.....encouragement free of parental loyalties. Without this kind of encouragement we tend to play 'follow the leader' like lemmings....and continuously wind up in the same situations of dementia.....wondering what the hell it was all about....
8 comments:
wondering what the hell it was about ....this could be the title of my memories about the women in my life and all the "soul mates" i belived to have .
You have a big heart Caio.....your life experiences are proof of it. The art of love is much bigger than singular relationships can ever...ever express. There is a need for this to be recognized, accepted, and expressed in this world today. You would fit well into the kind of communal living situation I have long envisioned. Once people quit screwing 'fairytales'....the picture of universal harmony becomes quite attainable. We tried to incoporate it into society in the 60s and set a goal but most got lost in the 'sexual revolution' part. The fullness of the equation has to be experienced for those who yet tie themselves to belief in monogamy. This kind of thinking has long made me an 'outsider' in my culture and cause havoc in my relationships...but it is there and I believe to love unfettered....is to live in truth.
My own mother ( who long held to the renaiisance ideal of love) said in her later years, "the longer I live son....the less I believe we are meant to be with but one partner." It made me review this 'portrait of thought' again and again. Safety is a desire funded by those who fear death....which will assuredly come one day....safety is greed. Love...real love for the self cannot be experienced in guarantees of safety....and real love is infinity...transient beautiful expression. In most monogamous relationships.....we become bored with consensus and their acceptability. When we cannot create another path to appreciate our partner in a replica of what was initially experienced...disillusion slowly seeps in the cracks and we are left with margins of complacency. All people are explorers in their most natural state....they need to explore to bring greater understandings of self.
mmmmm, i think there may be different people as soul mates, for the different stages we find ourselves in during our life...
Shadow...I believe binding ourself to one person...can be...very limiting for the natural stages of progression. I say...can be...because it doesn't have to be. There are examples among us which show growth harmony between long term partners but the ones which truly exemplify universiality.....are quite rare. When we are tiny...for example....we "love" passionately our providers...but this all changes in time and every social problem which rises from childhood proves it. Children are taught parental loyalty or...specific behaviors relevant to family goals and the goals can completely oppose "good community". The results of this are obvious in our societies worldwide. To defend our currently practiced social codes....in general.... is to support the destruction of our earth in favor of survival which is paradoxical...to say the least.
Oh how you do go on, Mr. SW. ;-)
Thanks a bunch for all the comments at Word Garden. I appreciate them.
While I've been visiting your blog, "The Lady of Shalott" was playing. A lovely musical rendition of my favorite Tennyson poem. :-)
It is a tendency I have my dear...and.....thank you.
I firmly believe, Dennis, that we encounter many a soul mate and I agree with Shadow, that they come into our lives at different stages. They can be lovers, friends or both. Of course, some 'relatives' can be closer a soul mate than others. I could go on and on, but I learn each day what 'soul mate' means, for my view of such, changes as I change.
Have a lovely weekend~
Stay warm~
Calli
well said Calli....I'm in concert with you and Shadow.
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