We...who seek understanding....seek tribalism....and its 'truest' expression

I have long considered relationships to be spiritual in their primary 'nature'. In my opinion their growth-synthesis has proven itself, time and again, in their beginnings and endings...whether by choice separation or any other dissolution.....to be only of self-exploratory value. Far too much human value, in the form of social necessity, is generally attached to the definition of relationships as good or bad. When we reach an impasse regarding condition in relationships....most of us never corroborate the impasse to our socio-political training. We usually exhort the dynamic of failure by biasing the relationship on the basis of survival....which is species-emotion-specific to regeneration. The end result of such thinking is an 'emotional over-load' and a 'scattering' of our manufactured personalities to points of extremism. We become desparately self-destructive in our attempt to control our fear of 'death' through all the acceptable machinations such as blame. Our fear of our natural ability to adapt to changing conditions becomes the over-riding force which distorts our ability to see beyond our personal dogma. Essentially.....we experience a total sexuality breakdown because it is the nature of sexual self-esteem which creates our purest levels of contentment.

I am 'tribal' by nature.....and in a slow process of uncovering this, shall I suggest 'primitive' character, have always found it far simpler to deal with......than the emotional backlash of self-preservation based in cultural dynamic. It is not an easy way to think. The arena of 'perfect partner' is something I connected to as a result of my orthodox Christian background and was 'set' into my way of thinking since before I was born. I was, essentially, groomed to think in the consensual lines of my culture. I spent many years in 'emotional argument' between two ideals.....one puritanically dogmatic and another which felt so natural it scared me. As a young man in my teen years I witnessed a break from the accepted way of viewing relationships in many ways. During the 60s all sorts of sexuality 'doors' opened spilling out gender content marked by one label after another with terms to define such as, gay, slut, lesbian, stud, queer, casanova, fag, and much variation showing me how twisted the Christian Right had become in their incessant desire to prove their view of life as the one true way to live. I was exposed to a whole new level of thinking as many people, including friends, experimented with sexuality in ways which the Right deemed as deplorable. Watching all this became a fascination of mine because it destroyed much of what I'd been taught as right or wrong.

 It was in these teen years when I also began to experience an awakening to the ancientness of religious concept through spiritual initiation by drug-induced visionary practice and psychological comparison. This time in my life opened areas of thinking which led to even deeper experiences in dealing with the layers of denial I'd absorbed from my childhood in classic Orthodox western culture. My sources of information and inspiration became increasingly right-brain oriented and I discovered that I was far more at home in the company of those who questioned every aspect of humanity than those who didn't. I began to find that I could not absolutely trust my feelings to guide me through emotional difficulty. The result of all these early influences, and others experienced much earlier, led me to believe that sexuality is the part of us that reinstates the most powerful area with which our mentality properly guides us through life and holds the greatest of keys to our ideas of  an infinite life beyond this earth existance. All that I witnessed then and since...and all that I've read in histories of tribal cultures.....when relationships were experienced as a fundamental expression of the spirit.....and for the benefit of spiritual growth.....has and still does certify what I believe.