In honor of Mother Earth, " John 14 verses 13-18"

I always loved the Biblical verse regarding the "many mansions in my Kingdom". It seems utterly appropriate to use it as a stage for honoring all the ecologically minded souls who choose to "hour-power down" tonight. Suzanne , my Tiger Lily, decided a candlelight rendition,of that old poem of mine, should be performed as a song.

I don't care a fig what the story is behind the Biblical verse....... for what it says to me is there is room for everyone who wish to join Yahweh in Hebrew heaven.

Have you ever tried using some of the Hebrew words in a chant ?............. Ya Ho Vah Ell Lo Heem.........just like it sounds. This is a chant that speaks to the ancient source of Mother energy.

I was using it at a time in my life when I was trying to invoke memories which were prior to 5 yrs old. What transpired on the 9th and 10th nights was fantastic. I also succeeded in sparking a visit to my girlfriend from my maternal grandmother's soul-spirit during one of her "journeys". The strength of Granny Maude's spirit blew her away. She told me she'd never felt so "wrapped in Love". No surprise to me........I was Granny Maude's favorite. I knew how strong her 'cloak' was.

Try it late at night, 3am, for 20 minutes at least 9 nights in a row.........and maybe...just maybe....you'll get a visit by three Ascended masters. That oughta tell you you're doin' fine.

spirit magic and dream travel healing

Many years ago I sat in a small nondescript house and listened to a man 'sing' to me of the power of the universe. What started out as an evening out with the usual pre-conceived notions rapidly merged into an altered state where I became witness to my own potential. I felt my "soul-force" burst from confinement within my body and drift free beyond the confines of ego. I "saw" an ability to instantly create and that only my clouded thinking kept me from this "way of being". The experience made a lasting impression as you see. Thus began a long road into the deeper mysteries of origin and its many trials and tribulations.

The conversations in the following text are contextually accurate though the wording is probably only similar.

It was the desire to one day return the blessing which led me full circle in 1997. I was asked to accompany my ex-wife to Texas on a personal reunion quest. At first I was reluctant because her family had never accepted me and had been quite antagonistic since we left the south.....but I had a dream....in which I was told to go...change my mind. Then her Elder (main antagonist)brother offered to pay for our flights so I put things here on hold and away we went. The trip itself was full of "power" lessons for her. Her long history of lagging behind spiritually had finally changed....during recent months......and she was paying full attention to things I'd been offering her for years. At the airport in Vancouver we ran headlong into my old history from 19 years earlier. The border patrol would not let us across easily and sent us into a line-up of people which seemed to guarantee we'd miss our plane. As the clock ticked Sandy got more and more agitated till she was fairly brimming with anger.....even to the point of starting to 'bite' at me since she had no recorded past. I finally turned her toward me and told her to shut her eyes and be quiet. Then I brought in the imaged energy of two bald eagles and placed them over us like a blanket. It is an ancient trick called "shapeshifting" which when properly used will speak at a fundamental level to an antagonist. The reason I used eagles is they represent "good honest Americans" to a Border-patrol psyche. Sandy opened her eyes and for the first time in a hour was completely calm. She asked me what I'd done for she wasn't nervous any longer. At that point an agent appeared and selected us from the line-up and sent us into a large room with a counter. Another agent walked in, went to a computer and began asking me questions. " so what were you arrested for?" My responses were anything but what he wanted me to say and we went at it hard and heavy for a minute or so till Sandy said "just tell him what he wants to hear". I said "why....he can't stop us and he knows it". She said,"please.." So I did and he left the room, thoroughly agitated and then immediately reappeared and told us to go board our flight. She checked her watch and said , "that was close but we still have 10 minutes." I told her we'd better hurry for the plane was about to leave. She disagreed but I took off running and she had no choice but to follow. We arrived at our gate just as an attendant came running down the hall waving at us and questioning "two for Dallas?!" When we got on the plane she asked me again what I'd done so I explained it to her. She was quite amazed so I told her ," just wait...there's a lot more going to happen on this trip."

When we reached Dallas it was evening. Her brother John met us and we returned to his home amid magnolias in bloom. Late that night after Sandy crashed he, his elder daughter, and I were sitting outside. I've known her since she was about 6 and we weren't strangers to each other. John began to play his usual overbearing patriarch role and I watched her recoil as she must have for most of her adulthood......so far. At a certain point she asked me a question and when I responded he got angry and embarrased whereupon she let loose with a blistering diatribe at him about his mistreatment of her as an equal and his endless condescending domination. His face paled then went cold and he got up and walked away.......only to return, break down, start crying, and blubber out how sorry he was to have not allowed her the grace of equality. There was a great flood of emotion from both and promises from both to reunion with each other during the weekend before she returned to San Francisco, her home. John excused himself and went inside to retrieve beers for he and she. As soon as he was out of earshot she turned and said, " I honestly don't know what you did, just now, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart." After she had finished her beer and retired John and I just sat, in the heady aroma and heat for a while, and then he sincerely asked me what I was into. I responded with, "why John, what does it matter, is this an attempt to reconcile 18 years of disdain?" He rattled for a few minutes about me having been very different from others he knew even commenting on how adeptly I manipulated scenes way back in Austin in the 70s where I'd first known him.......long before I began seeing his kid-sister. He then said that he'd seen an enormous change in his sister during the prior year......a powerful positive change. So I responded to his question with, "the same things I've been "into" since I was 16 John......raw shamanistic practice." He asked me if I knew of Sufism and I said yes.....its basic context is Islamic Mysticysm. He said, " why am I not surprised.....My guru is an ex-Iranian general" in NYC. I told him there had been a noticeable change in his phone attitude during the last 5 years but nothing which made me wish to trust him. He was a bit rebuffed but admitted understanding why. We talked late into the wee hours with him asking questions and talking about his "path". It was a good thing. The next day I asked Sandy to show her brother how to "journey" and she returned with some guide images for him. They were both blown away by the string of integral 'connections' the experience brought.

Two days past with a number of 'convergences' taking place and then we went to Houston which was the only reason I could think of........ why the spirit told me to go in the first place. I was going to see my old partner and one of the longest practicing 'shamans' I knew. This man had grown up on reserve land in Minnesota and his teacher had been a 'shaman' from the reserve. At this point I'll remind you that even natives are wary of 'shamans' for they are not necessarily the same category as 'medicine men'. They are in a category all their own in most N American cosmologies...........though this may have finally changed during the last few years. My friend and I had a great visit and there were a number of relevant exchanges but they are not the reason behind this story.

In the early morning of the second day.....as I was stepping from the shower.....my 'old man' spoke clearly saying, "find her". I stopped.....standing still, dripping water till he spoke again, "find her.......you know how". That is when the image of my original mentor's wife came in front of me. I spoke in my mind to "old man", " Nancy...really... but not for 22 years" He cut me off, " she needs your help and knows to trust you." I stammered, " but how in the world?" He said, "you remember the other one...she is your way" I had old pictures come tumbling out of the corners of my heart and as suddenly I knew I'd find her....one of my oldest, dearest, spirit sisters. Nothing more was said so I dressed and joined the others. I said nothing but Steve's wife kept looking at me quizzically during breakfast. She had detected the wavelength, probably from being around him. I remained silent and the 4 of us had a great day in the downtown area of Montrose. Man were the memories strong. I've mentioned before that a volume of my apprenticship would be filled by the time I spent in the Montrose district. Anyway.......we arrived back at their home around 5pm and weren't in the house more than 30 minutes when Michelle approached me with an odd look to her saying it was for me and, " I think you've waited a long time for this." I said hello and a very quiet voice responded with, "Dennis, is it you?" I said, "Nancy?" " my God Dennis, when Granny Sparks told me Jane's father had a phone call from you looking for me I was stunned "..........Imagine one of your most precious spiritual memories manifesting again after a lifetime had passed..........and here they are again....in the flesh. The person who took you to meet someone really special that showed you a way to find the true self. Well I was silent and finally after stammering a few short bursts she said, " are you still? " and I interrupted saying, "I never stopped, Nancy, and it has brought me miracles." She burst into dialogue and poured out all she had done for nearly 30 years. Her marriage to Jim had ended and she'd remarried, had two wonderful daughters, studied under a Guru in West Virginia for 22 years, and so much more. She stopped then and told me she'd got as far as she could in that scene but found her memories of a trauma experienced in California returning as her kids began to leave the nest. She also realized she could stay with her husband no longer and since her kids were grown and had families........she returned to Houston to open a clothing store. She asked if we'd be here long for she would love to see us and meet Sandy but I said we were leaving in the morning for Dallas. I told her I'd meet her at the store at 9AM for I had a gift to give her which would resolve the old fear. She said good and we hung up.

I told sandy what was happening and asked her if she'd drum for me in the morning so I could run into dreamland with Nancy and help her learn how to heal a psyche wound. We met her in North Houston in the morning at the store. When we arrived she was not there so we crossed the street and entered another eclectic shop to browse while waiting. I had been looking around for some drums while I was traveling though I hadn't mentioned this to anyone but Sandy. Of a sudden I could feel Nancy seeking me and I walked out to the sidewalk seeing a woman step from a small car parked opposite. She had her back turned but I knew and as she turned we both stared for a second and broke into great huge grins like two silly kids at a circus. We met in the center of the street, hugged, and she pushed me back....cocked her head and said, "have you found your drum yet?" God did we ever burst into laughter. She gave us a quick tour of her shop and we headed for her digs. I was ready so we set up in a dark room and went to work. I asked her to close her eyes as we sat facing each other crosslegged and holding both hands. " when you see me we go" with that Sandy kicked the brand new clay pot ceremonial drum from India (Nancy gave me at her shop) into full voice and away we went ;

"The Dream Journey"

"We are standing on the bank of a shallow river west somewhere in a semi-arid climate.There is a high bluff directly across the river.........Nancy is crying with her arms to the sky. She has constructed a small dam of river rocks which spans the inches deep water to the opposite shore at the base of the bluff. On the downstream side of the dam in the middle of the river she has created a rock circle against the dam. Suddenly I hear a hawk scream above me. I tell her to walk into the water and stand inside her power circle and sing her fear to the hawk. She goes forward and as she begins singing a large crane lands nearby and wades towards her. She has stopped crying and is calling to the crane. the hawk has landed on a lone tree at the top of the bluff. I call her to come and we cross the river and climb the bluff. At the top there is a stallion standing by the tree. I tell her to ride the stallion for it is she and see through the hawk's eyes. In a flash she is mounted and as she thunders over the horizon I see the hawk envelope her and the horse.........metamorphosis.."

"Returned to this world"

I closed my inner eyes and thanked all those who came and opened them signalling sandy to ease off the drum. We waited about a minute till nancy open her eyes and smiled the biggest smile I think I'd ever seen from her. She told me she'd been working two weeks at the store and spending two weeks on a friend's property out west. The Frio river ran through the place and she'd built a dam with a circle of stones attached in the middle. she said the river is only inches deep there. Each time she went a big crane would appear and stay near her till she left. She said there was a bluff across where she'd constantly seen a big hawk circling. All she could do while she was there was sit on the bank crying. She told me she was so tired of being afraid of men.She asked me how??? I waved it away and told her she must go and do this in the flesh now. I told her it would have made more sense if she'd physically entered the rock circle. By building the dam she'd asked the earth to stop life until she could conquer her fears of rape. She told me she couldn't cross the river because there was a rancher who was a mean s-o-b who lived over there and she'd been warned. I told her the man hated himself for fearing others but he loved horses. Surprised she said he ranched horses. I said walk upstream and cross where its an easier climb. Cloak yourself with your horse energy just like the witches of olde. Even if he comes and finds you he'll be too shy to frighten you because his psyche will tell him you're as beautiful as a spring mare. She asked what the crane meant and if it was about a lack of concentration.......I said, " it is the medicine of focus but you need to redirect it to the messenger atop the bluff....you've bluffed yourself long enough my dear friend!"

I have lost touch with her since but I still see her on the other side.

Life is.....neither fair or unfair

 All life exists only temporarily in a micro-cosmic form....that is to say in a tangible dimensional existance. Everything will come and go in "time" according to the rules of its micro-cosm. The major "rule" of earth existance is time. We live...and in doing so we experience time as a life/death, yin/yang, positive/negative, good/bad scenario according to our personal ideology first..... and our social ideology second. All our perceptions of life are subjectively influenced by our relationship to the host we exist in.....our human form......and the host we were derived from......our mother's body. It is her body that imprints us with all our basic information we'll need to fund our lives. That basic information is not just chemistry.....it is full of images which help to empower our lives. The key word herein is IMAGERY. Your Mother's thoughts added to your human chemistry is how you learn to relate to life. If she is full of strong mental pictures about anything from Christian guilt trips to alien abductions......the chances are good you will be as well. Now....what if she has long forgotten or dormant memories which are still in her sub-conscious even though they aren't prevalent ??

I am not saying past life doesn't exist. I am saying that images of past life are experienced here in this life as metaphors......period. They are not the reasons for your chagrin or for your use as excuses for behaviors.The universe never seeks to punish us for the universe sees our ideas of right and wrong in a way which is socially foreign to us.

Past life ???? Was I a hero, a Titan, Savior, Queen, King, Prophet, or maybe just the King's arse wiper........who knows? Who can prove we were or weren't ? Some Buddhists believe we can come back as anything......not so exciting being a rock..........but then have you ever had a PLE where you were a rock.. a dog...a bug.....no? I don't think most of us would wish to return a bug or a stone..........but a lot of us gain self-esteem by experiencing some hypnagogic state where we see ourselves as formerly existing. Many of us use these images to explain portions of our lives. Penance is a popular idea that comes with PLE. Here's a good story about the idea of penance for a past life karma.

Some years ago while lecturing a small group of seekers on how to create a PLE I met a fellow of mid-life who stated he had been having PLEs for many, many years. Since early in his childhood he'd seen into the past and he had lived many lives as a womanizing brute. His verification was based on the current life which afforded him no personal relationships with the opposite sex. He even said that he could invite women out for coffee but none would date him. It was like a badge of honor how he displayed his great knowledge of past lives. Finally he asked me what I thought and I told him he couldn't get a date because once women realized what a whiny, egocentric, shrub he was......from his unholier-than-thou rap.......they were too busy asking themselves why they ever agreed to coffee.....let alone a date and if he was a brute before....whose to say he'd changed. That Reiki-slapped him in the third-eye!

He got mad and tried demeaning my imminent teacherhood so I followed with another Reiki-slap to the root. I asked him why he hadn't spoken to his parents in 4 years. His jaw fell open and he said something like, "WHAT...How do you know that?" I demanded to know if I was correct. He stammered a reply of, "yes but how?" I waved away a response and asked him which of his folks was the Zealot. Taken off guard again, he meekly replied they both were. So I asked him a few questions about their "evangelical" natures and saw that he'd been reared by a couple of Bible Thumpers who made him believe he was the same kind of arses they were. This, of course, led to unloved and worthless feelings which is hard enough to deal with when one parent is faulted......let alone both. Fear led to shame which led to resentment and finally a slow-boiling anger at everyone who he thought was looking down at him. It made him a stubborn and antagonistic man. He had a good job but got on poorly with his co-workers and women had a very short interest span in him. As a teen he'd become intrigued by other forms of belief and PLE seemed appropriate to his cause. He is an intelligent man who put together a seemingly valid reason for his lack and found his support in others of he same background. By this time he was good and angry because I'd exposed the ol' hidden agenda and wouldn't fall into his pseudo - spiritual trap. He stormed off.

A month or so passed and Suz and I were downtown one day when I heard someone hailing me. It was 'ol' Shrub' but what a change ! He was cleaned up and looking all spiffy with a big smile on his yap. He shook my hand hard telling me how mad he'd gotten and how he'd screamed in the mirror at me till he realized everything I'd said was true. He said he sat and cried for an hour. I told him its never easy to admit your parents were arseholes and , even worse, admit you adopted their traits........... but what else can you do when that is the sole 'play' you get to watch.................everyday. We learn to survive in some lousy examples as kids and learning to change that background effect is long and tough. I told him he needed to confront them to put it all to rest. he said in time he would but not yet because he was experiencing a lot of open fear and wondered if that was part of healing. I said absolutely and a good indicator things are changing. He smiled, thanked me again, and said, "I gotta go man, I gotta date". We both laughed and I haven't seen him since.

Any type of hypnagogic experience can be tricky to navigate. In that state of mind the meaning of image can easily misconstrue the reality. If there is no past or future....then everything is a "reality illusion" All beings are just different forms of soul. Whether or not you've lived before or will live again is not important because you cannot know for certain what was before this life or will be after..............you can only believe.

So live for today, the best way you can imagine.

The Soul-mate ideology

When I post a blog it is usually referring to questions I've been asked regarding some ideology. Lately this ideology seems to be regarding personal love. Normally in a simple conversation with a stranger I might dismiss such a question with a simplistic response such as "keep trying and you'll find them" but as has been pointed out in several of my earlier posts, I am quite familiar with this concept. It was a constant theme in a long road of recovering and analyzing much of my past. This search, for me, is not some 10 or 20 year quest. It has been almost 40 in experiential as well as philosophical value. With that in mind and the fact that most of you who come to this site are not 'pilgrims' in the search to restore 'true self' I will lay out what I know from personal experience for it will help those who wish this kind of relationship, those who have one....encouragement, those who are unsure....a measuring stick, and those who cannot find it and are suffering uneven co-dependency............clarity.

The idea of soul-mate expresses true equality and masterful self-reflection. It will not happen for anyone until your level of self-knowledge has attained a masterful psychological level. You cannot gain this experience through school or in meditation for it takes interaction with many others in sensitive personal ways. What you will eventually create is a relationship representing the best balance which can be attained by a human being. It will unearth the earliest learning curve in your life.........the period from 7 years back. Those who understand Buddhist chakras will know it as the root. The experience will ALLOW...not force.......you to re-experience aspects of your childhood in the most powerfully "epiphanic" manner at degrees you are not familiar with. The experience of coming to know this part of the self again can only be accomplished once the main themes of the other six levels have been dealt with, because you are not a child anymore. The knowledge of the inner child is the most powerful fundamental of self-realization and it can only be brought fully forth as one is experiencing the crown chakra. What this implies is familiarity with all the other growth levels between.

All of what psychology defines as growth cycles can easily be summed up in comparisons to the idea of chakras though it may take a little bit of a shuffling of ideas because of cultural differences;

**root......1st seven years cycle covers all early levels of control
**sacral......2nd seven year cycle covering puberty
**naval........3rd seven year cycle covering emotional growth
**heart........4th seven year cycle covers compassionate maturing
**throat.......5th seven year cycle covers confidence among others
**third eye.......6th seven year cycle covers intuitive clarity
**crown.............7th seven year cycle covers experiential wisdom

Just like chakras, growth cycles interface and overlap in an ongoing communication. For example......take something you experienced as a child and compare it to how you currently experience the same situation. Your defeats are not necessarily experienced by kicking and screaming, eh? So everything you know or believe has come down a road built by experience.

Therefore, the knowledge you have of a particular aspect of your life is like a journey through many experiences. The ideology of love is an opinion formed in exactly the same way. The only thing that may make love stand out beyond other experiences would be its intensity of emotion.

It is to this intensity of emotion that I direct discussion.
I was told years ago that a true twin-flame experience must be earned over successive lifetimes.
That seemed a bit to fanciful if you ask me now. There have been more psychics, seers, wizards, and witches, comment on my life path than I can 'shake a stick at'. Someone was always coming along and telling me I was destined for a path of great wisdom. The first was an eccentric student of I Ching who had me, at 17yrs, over for a tea at the behest of a friend and asked me if I would like to experience I Ching. At the time I'd had some contact with Tarot and so forth but this was new. When I tossed the sticks she sat silent for a few minutes, then burst into an excited display and questioned me of my question. At seventeen and a " babe in the occult woods" I meekly responded "destiny?".................she smiled and went to retrieve some rather tattered hard-covered large books. As she thumbed through the pages I felt my hair stand on end on my neck and my hands begin to sweat. I was nervous for she kept peering at the 'throw' and murmuring to herself. I thought she was going to tell me I would die at the hands of an evil sorcerer and immediately descend into some hellish scene. Instead she closed the book, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Parallel sixes....heard of it......read of it......never seen it." I nervously asked her what it meant. She smiled and said, "Soul destiny Dennis.......you are a returning sage...........you've lived many lifetimes." Well damned if I knew what to say for I had no clue what a sage was........other than stuff in mama's kitchen. With that statement her friend burst out laughing and I got red-faced. When their chortling amusement ended she said softly and sincerely, "Dennis......I cannot tell you what to do for it is your journey and you must find your way." I asked her if it meant I should go to Tibet and they both burst out laughing again.
Well......I was beginning to think this cosmic consciousness stuff could be very egocentric.

Isn't that a good example of how an uninformed and naive culture rears its children in highly secularized protective methods, and sets a stage for them to become emotionally naive adults......full of fanciful ideas about love etc ? Well............here I sit years later............yapping away like a disturbed coyote about the idea of soul-mates. Is that sagedom I ask ?

This much I know. Everything we've learned to survive with was first experienced in our 5 senses in our Mother's bellies. Every thought she had, connected to her own 5 senses, created images in her mind which, in the case of repetitous images, became very "available" to us through a sixth sense..........the sense created when the other 5 form a chain or better yet, an algorithm. The "availability" of imagery has been proven in dream research and if you can't fathom that just open your eyes to all the things people do in synergistic ways. So it stands to reason that when Mama was feeling inspired with 'love' feelings................so were we. Once we are outside the 'host' ....we still get to see the.....'ghosts'......of her memories.......till we disconnect from them to different degrees. The ones that are the most pleasurable, they release the most endorphins, we will store in our memory banks and they will play 'silent witness' to every relationship we ever create. This is where our images of gods and demons birth from. That includes partners.......soul mates. Whether or not some prior destiny laid out a 'soul-path' through an Akashic record.......is something only gawds can know. Therefore............everyone I ever got emotionally attached to was an aspect of my Mama which caused a release of a lot of endorphins in the pleasurable interactions while they lasted. So I had to learn to love all the strengths and all the weaknesses in my characters.....even the hidden images in Mom's mind.......during all my growth levels to attract one of parallel nines to me.

Love is a just 4 letter word...........that means communication.

coming to terms with a "Tyrant" mother.........

I saw her from a long way off and then I realized, as the smoke lifted, she was lost.... standing in her torn gingam dress clutching a rag doll. All about her was the wreckage of our attack smouldering from the fire arrows we'd sent in a barrage only minutes before. She stood quietly with tears running through the smudges on her face as we rode down to a scene of blood and bodies, but there was fire in her eyes. I motioned to her to come forward and to my surprise she did, walking right up to the horse as if she knew me.
Without a glance to my warriors, I leaned over and lifted her to my pony's back telling her in my Cheyenne tongue to hold on. She wrapped her little arms around me tightly as if I was a friend. I felt confused.
When I turned back your spirit appeared before me with your back turned the same as I left you to go on another raid......the morning the soldiers had come. Your words stained my heart again, " I warned you this day would come."
Suddenly......I felt empty, as lost as this child who's family and friends we had just killed. I spun my pony feeling his muscles bunch and then we were running with the whoops of the victors splitting the air. Yet I was silent for I could only remember that morning, long ago. I knew then I would never take another life...........


It has taken several lives to find you again..........................


I dreamed this about twelve years ago and it had me hovering over it for a number of days. The dream felt so real that I had a hard time looking through for clarity. At that point in my life I was releasing myself from a marriage of eighteen years because I knew it was time. The certainty of this decision came from spending almost 21 years dealing with the first three growth levels of my personal life. In the mid-seventies I married for the first time and two and a half years later I was told something I didn't want to hear. I was told that I was trying to force a spiritual path upon myself by affirmation and external acclaim. The old lady who told me this had only known me for a few hours and barely any exchange of personal history had taken place during that time. She said I was like her but I would have to earn it by proving it to someone else because I would not accept anyone as a teacher. Stunned to say the least, was I, when she told me that my wife was a twin-flame but I'd lose her soon because I was not paying attention to my own issues.
The last thing she said was that I'd be alone for a couple of years because I couldn't lie to women anymore. Then.....once this level of change had taken hold, I'd choose a new mate, unconsciously sensing, that by choosing her and trying to teach her what I believed, I would inevitably learn to accept myself. Once that was accomplished I would find another twin-flame who I would spend the rest of this lifetime with.


The dream is all metaphor. It is immaterial of past life associations except in context to what was happening in my mind at the point of my second marriage dissolving. The clarity goes like this................I met my second wife at a time when she was overwhelmed and consumed by her own mother's self-hate. She was suffering from the same psycho-sexual dysfunction of her mother's influence as was I. The mother and the rest of her family were dragging her into a wilderness of emotion where I'd been waiting...... for the muse I needed to certain myself. I....as roled by this powerful warrior chieftain, swept down onto the plain of our unhappy existences and destroyed our pasts by taking her from it. My images of strength were the warriors, horses, leadership role, fire, burning of the old ways of containment (family, wagons) and silent communion with my feminine side.

This dream in 97' was experienced at a time when I was asking myself a perfect truth......"can I really help this woman face her demons or does letting go stop my enabling her to keep running ?" Letting go was my answer which was represented by the image of the native woman's warning and the reminder of impending loss. The native woman's spirit image was the reminder that my first wife had to quit enabling me in order to find herself..........thus these images were of my idea of my own mother's true spirit......the one that helped her recognize the danger to her and her children if she stayed with my father in 1954. I will always bless her for that decision........and I told her so in 97' when she questioned that old judgement call. There is always loss when we let go of our control of another. There is also always something to gain..................and that is................ a greater sense of self and our place in the infinite.

The wonderful truth of accomplishing all this was the old lady's last prediction came true in 99'. I met the loving, generous, kindness...coupled to the resolve, intuition, and faith, of the part of my life I remembered the least.......in my greatest teacher........my mother.

I met my counterpart, my soul-reflection.....my Suzanne.

a song for the Lilys

"BLESSED"

c.02/2000

Blessed be those who've never seen, yet believe in every dream

& all it takes to make one whole again.

They'll stand by you no matter what, or deep life's travesties

knowing love will last beyond our end.

Blessed are they who know that love, is to be given free

the best in us will always lend a hand.

They reach unto the setting sun, trusting in the heart

to always touch another heart of man.

Blessed be my enemies, they need my love the most

I know they are both haunted and afraid.

I bless them with love's brilliant light, each & every day

their love will serve us better than their grave.

Blessed are those who's open minds, seek for truth each day

who know denial is but choice we make.

They do not care to justify their anger any way

because they've learned the art of give and take.

Blessed are those who show a child to own its rightfull place

for greater are the visions it can find.

Encouraging with love and trust, that children all deserve

can only further service to all mankind.

Blessed be the Mothers, caretakers of all young

who teach an honest love will always win.

For those we raise by tyranny can never own their soul

and suffer through our selfish acts of sin.

"A song for love & lovers"

"Breath of Angels"

copyright 16/04/98

I look into the eyes of your soul...... its there I've found a wisdom of old

draw me close by the breath of angels...I see a world of one so special

oooooooooooooooooooo

a gentle voice, singsong in a whisper..from its source, pours love's golden vapors

lips as soft to touch as are flowers...I taste a kiss of unearthly power

ooooooooooooooooooooo

thru portals called time I see we are bound strong our two hearts drumming this sound

power of choice makes a truth real words can't express the way my heart feels

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

I told you these words right from the start knowing they'd be the keys to your heart

for in my own dream I lifted your veil and found that all life is pure fairytale

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Looking back now , how this game began the cards we held then were our only pat hand

we both played aces and chose love again lovers in love with all women and men

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm lost now in the words of my song I think I've found a true way to belong

ain't it funny that something so old is what we find thru the eyes of the soul

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mongrels....the wild hearted ones

Long, long ago as a child I heard the voices in the rustling leaves of trees, in the shadowed corners, on the season's winds, in the rushing waters, and sought the hidden places where the true lessons exist for the fearless. Partly because I felt so truly alone and partly from romantic notions of mountain men , buccaneers , and all sorts of adventuring souls I filled my head with designs on the wild places.
Growing up in a city, and finding out how misplaced I felt, led me towards the ideas left of center and beyond. I am one of those who's heart admires and searches for the underdogs, ill content and disdainful to accept some moderate station in the acceptable pecking orders of family and society. My need for camaraderie could be filled by nothing less than the rejects and outlaws. I learned to pride myself at an early age in acting indiscreet, unruly, and disobedient. As a result........my life was hard and dangerous at times.
As I grew older and fell into the sway of mist, myth, and magic...I learned to truly appreciate how this menagerie of image, which drove me, came from deep in the hearts of my mother's and father's wild sides.....his expressed....hers denied. I often wondered why I leaned left so hard when it was only my mother's hands that raised me.
Then one night during a ceremony of grandfathers....a quiet voice in my mind seemed to speak, "who Denny......who were the first to hold you beyond the doctors and your mother?" The images of buckskin-clad, steely-eyed, long-haired, bearded men with rifles and hard looking weathered faces among women of the same cloth came dancing across my eyes. These were the forgotten free men of the fur trade.............my fathers people........who had suffered indignities at the hands of their oppressors for years....many years.....before......and even to my birth and after.
Though you may not see the connection herein....it is there...simply because of the way REM creates its own share of intuitive experience. As a small child, post birth and up to around three years old, we remain tightly associated to our REM ability to envision image even while we are seeing with our beta speed ( our conscious 3D view ). Since the ability to influence another's dreams, by purposeful intention and receptivity, has been proven in both hypnotherapy circles and dream studies I have no problem extrapolating from or postulating about what a child sees during its early years. What most folks don't know is how strong this state of mind is and that it begins, on average, around 27 weeks into pregnancy. Once begun, the frequency which our brain operates under this speed is as high as about 85% of the time till birth......reducing to about 55% until around the age of three. Consider, as well, how strong an influence all five senses affect the early reasoning equations in personal ways. It is my belief that much of the early ideas forming in my young mind were transferred through as I observed all that I was experiencing. It wouldn't matter whether or not I understood any of it for experience has the unmistakable ability to plant images in us for life.

"the idea of perfect love in changing times"

Love is a human concept. In pre-renaissance times it was generally used in the context of gods feelings for their creations including men. During the renaissance it became more closely associated to men and, in particular, romanticized as the perfect reflection of God's creation on earth existing between one man and one woman. This has been stated of the philosophies left over from the Greco-Roman period, at least in my view, and how they changed to suit European culture as it rose from the Dark Ages into the Renaissance. With the Renaissance came the rush of art with its poetry, fables, and song. It seems to me that the time was right for the furious paranoid fundamentalism of the Dark Age to lose its persuasiveness over the generations which were born in that period. One could say that when humans have had enough fear-basing as formulae for their current social conditions of any period there will rise the appropriate positive to the former negatives. Some scholars point to evidence of 200 year cycles which signal mankind's change of attitude periods where survivalism has fallen to creativity.

It would seem that once again a surge in the belief in a personal god has led to a common idea of perfect love with so much literature on this and related subjects appearing during the last 50 years. It is in that vein that I'll offer my views on this matter and its importance as the industrial age seems to draw to a close.

When I was an adolescent I became enamored with ideas of finding a perfect mate as did most of my generation. The topics of literature and conversation were laced with these ideas during that period. The lotus blossom representing idealistic love and its sexual associations were the order of the day. Expressions such as soul-mate, divine soul-match, twin-flame and some others were well used privately and publically. This became a defining term for those of the 1950s to present time when the idea of perfect partnership was the topic. My personal experience with the idea morphed rapidly during the early seventies as I discovered my ability to forecast what was ahead of me and balance what I envisioned against psychological views. Now that IS a big statement so let me explain a bit. By that time I was privy to a number of universal philosophies covering personal icons, sexual energy, emotional patterning, intellectual fascination, soul-paths, self-fulfilled prophecy, re-incarnation, and soul families. I had also become quite a player in the fields of horoscope, numerology, and tarot as well as the power of intentional focus. During those late teens I was learning how to recognize how these things actually worked so I would create imagination scenarios and then wait to see if they'd manifest. I was learning a fundamental universal truth that proved chaos does have order and intention is the most powerful personal & collective tool we hold. I also began to recognize that although the idea of love could be postulated in many ways...........the art of love was learning to understand the past for love was no fairytale which held magical awards without solid effort to comprehend it and express it. Love is one of those words which is cross categorical and requires more than average attention because if not held in the mind's eye constantly ........... it will slip away into other definitions which hold very little energy.

One of the psychology treatises which fascinated me from around 16-17yrs old was the Oedipus complex attributed to Sigmund Freud but far from his exclusive domain. It wasn't explained to me until I suffered an insult from a friend that almost started a fist fight. The skinny of this idea is that your mother is your most primary and primitive survival teacher/instructor in life. As a result you will grow and mature physically, mentally, and spiritually in attitude relevant to all you witness while under her care. Even if your father has a strong influence on you, under certain stimulus your mother's influence will likely preceed his. What this does in the idea of love is establish a 'tracking path' that you will use consciously and heavily unconsciously when searching for and pursuing a mate. Personally.....I have watched as this line of reason rooted solidly in my mind through a multitude of relationships. Many of my songs have connection of this nature. The more I studied myself..........the more I learned............and the more I realized this to be true across the gender barriers as well. Women pick men who may be like their father figures.....but will actually be somewhere between that actuality and the idealism of the mother's image of a perfect man..........no matter how flawed. The song I posted a few posts back....."Mama's Pride"............. says it all.

Since those early and conflicted points of my life I have learned that no such "special" partner exists for each of us in this way. Through the many short relationships and the seven long ones, I understand......now............we create such an image because we need better ways of determining meaning in order to create balance in our human existence. It necessitates a self-created relationship to a "personal god" for us to find value in the simplest and greatest fundamental aspect of human existence........the ability to commuicate with all things. This is the simplest and most complex reason for periods of "Renaissance" both personally and globally. Mankind has to go forward and backward as we verify and validate our perception of the infinite for it is to this understanding that we reach.

With all thus written I think it is important now.....more than ever..... that relationships become the primary focus..........even more than survival strategies......in the coming times. If perceptions and calculations concerning the changes in our way of living are correct by only a 50% margin, and I suspect that is a gross underestimation......relationships are going to demand changing personal beliefs in order to survive.

One issue will be the loss of many of our pet themes by which mobility allows us comfort zones. Think about the inability to do, with ease, all of the things that easily affordable transportation enables. Every facet of travel including, shopping, friends, school, work, restaurants, movies, parks, vacations, hunting & fishing trips, weekend getaways, and the list goes on will be cut to absolute minimums by most if not all of us. These losses may not seem much conversationally, but when they become constant necessity we will find many of our personal spaces disappearing. Add to this complications involving distances needed to access necessities such as medical services, medications, et.al. Consider as well that a lot more time will be spent around those who we are closest to, both physically and emotionally. This does not exclude neighbors either........friendly or otherwise. It would be wise for those who aren't currently considering these dynamics to take stock of their personal affairs and ask themselves if they think their relationships are strong and flexibile enough to adapt to these rapidly approaching scenarios. Sometimes just a change of intention can change everything.

Spottedwolf