"love's magic"

I can paint a picture for you...one from what we'll one day find
together down a dappled pathway, but hidden from the bright sunshine.
There we'll find the utmost pieces...lazily forgotten shrines
rescued from effervescent dormancy...out beyond a chartered mind.
Poetically you seek some answers...not knowing that there is no end
only evanescent memory...festooned like some Victorian twin.
Is this all...this space between us...is there such a thing as sin
or can I really touch love's magic...once I find where it begins.


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soul retrieval

I was teaching by doing the night before last.........on "soul-retrieval". What I do is show a person how to regress themself using a tape recorder to record all the images seen and shared while I guide her through a basic set of images.

When we went inside an enormous eagle met us and swept us on its back to bring us through the skies to a field with an old hollow tree. She met with her panther but panther said she would not go with us.

In an earlier exchange I noticed she uses a hollow tree for an image of "home". Thus we used it as a jumping off point to go back in the mind-time-line to search for lost images of herself..........down through the roots to an opening which revealed a dark underworld where she found a cave with a trinity of little ghostly shapes of "hers" who she drew together as "1" after certaining they were her through identification of the same earring each was wearing. The morphing into one image was then drawn into her by a "drawing of a breath". This was done outside the cave's mouth. Had I done the "restoring" I'd have simply placed cupped hands over the heart to blow into her. It is a powerful placebo effect. When this was completed she rose back up through the roots and up through the trunk until she spied another opening......

Outside this opening was a sixteen year old standing on an empty street in a large city sobbing from being left alone. We take her inside the same way AFTER we stop the crying. It's simple placebo again. A strong command, "stop crying ! we are here to bring you back to us...will you come ? " asked with a smile and open arms...... so of course she agrees.

There was nothing else so we came back through the portal to "real time".

The eagle and a muskrat came with us as we came into "real time". I found him (muskrat) at the kitchen table with us after the circle was closed....sneaky bugger. They will stay with her in external imagery until she "owns" their medicine. Then she will see them no more unless she needs a reminder at a future point in time.

The "3 images of her little girl are three times she felt absolutely lost as a small child and left alone in "the dark".....

The 16 year old is all the trouble she went through to get her family into counseling for alchohol and drugs in Calgary.........only to have her Mother walk out of the session and leave her on the streets. Then her Mother and Father divorced. I'd say she's had a tough life as a child.

Honeysuckle...

the only way to find her's what the Gypsy said...

is by keeping on your toes or you're better off dead...

lazy is the lover who will never play fair....

you can't get to heaven in a rocking chair.....

it takes two to tango man, that ain't no lie....

but only one stopping makes the whole thing die...

so you'll have nothing but sweet honeysuckle dreams....

I'm making you waffles all snuggled in cream....

you'll catch more flies using honey not salt....

and Mama's always saying its nobody's fault...

so I wrote you all this sweet little verse its true...

cuz' you're all sweet honeysuckle dewdrops you.....

"cretan savages"

when the cold night falls and you're far from home, you may hear old voices sing
of the love for battle and its travesties, like viking souls on a restless sea
for all our past must be born again, thus be the way of men
by our gods we choose our bad & good, though judgement's usually misunderstood
for the world is ruled by misguided men, who choose to keep us in hell's pit
and our societies worship royalties in the creed of hypocrit
in god's name we have learned to lie, to gain someone's belief
and if babes are born to an angry heart, gods of war get another start
open minds are necessity, for they help to change old mythologies
without them we can never solve, our fears of change in how time revolves
for the world is ruled by misguided men, who choose to keep us in hell's pit
and our societies worship royalties in the creed of hypocrit
man must learn from all his sides, to make the wisest choice
for life is not to win or lose, but remembering how to choose
yeah the cretan savage is what we are, spawn of our ancient ones
handed down in dream & blood, both enforced by our mother tongues

"Hourglass"

She’s the whispering of my imagination, or the door between the places I have grown

She’s my selfishness, my giving, all my passions, and a sense that I am coming to my own

Thru the memories collected in this journey, built on images forgotten long ago

From a cavern rife with secrets I’m returning, to fullness in this place I call a soul

There were years I wondered how I’d ever know her, was she hidden behind one too many doors

Was I blinded by an act of someone’s mercy, and condemned by some old habit I’d adored

In the time it takes for you to live a life friend, and the way you learn to plant your every seed

There’s a key to open every gate in heaven, past the stories we were  taught to fill a creed

It has taken more than half of a century , what we're given in a lifetime to relearn

And the taste of something finished is a sweet thing, when you understand how knowledge must be earned

So I’ll share with you the secrets of one fallen, from a place we reach for higher than we know

To wander in uncertainty is a long road, but the only way we’ll ever come back home

There’s no temple, church, or hero who can guide you, for the answers to your questions hide inside

And the only path to wisdom is a long one, thru the pestilence you’ve hidden in your pride

So pay attention closely to my words friend, if you believe you best not let them pass

The only way to god is thru your memories, its you who hid her in the hourglass

welcoming Yule......

 "Tis quiet time when shadows grow and bade the patrons rest...... humanity et.al. endeavor are winding down the test.

One more will soon be gone beyond begat by memory.....unto the box of picture cards no longer wild and free.

Thus we shelve the earthen crock, the stag to cure til high..... the roots we bury deep beneath a gray November sky.

Tis time again both foe and friend must set aside their strife..... for soon we'll see our future need adorn a tree of life.

    So be it lass and laddie dear you hear in vocal scree....another year we've made the grade lets stow the weaponry.

We've made the grade with rake with spade adhering to the rule.... its time for fun for everyone the coming of our yule."

Parental Loyalties

In the course of our lives we constantly 'bump' into our parents again and again. The 'bumps' are our own adopted behavior patterns...our attitudes...which cause us uncertainty in our decision making processes. In these 'bumpy' places exists quite a potential for re-learning.....beyond what we absorbed from parental example. You'll notice I used "absorbed" rather than "learned" because it is more easily understood  that the 'bumps' may be because parental example was either misunderstood during 'adoption' or....by its recurring use.....  has shown itself to be problematic for some reason.
During the holiday season is an excellent time to watch for clues as to how these 'problematic' attitudes approach us......for we are generally "put on high-alert" in strong emotional cycles such as holidays. For example there may be a certain family scene such as a sibling who always brings up some past issue and, though it was years ago, continuously uses it to dominate the family scene. Even though this issue is one we may expect.....we worry needlessly in a family habit ( which is also a family scene).....and begin  a reactionaty attitude in us. In part.....it is the subtlety of "wavelength" which helps to draw the issue to the forefront. Our expectation of its recurrence will contribute to just that. In the study of my parents and their relationship......and their lack of it.......I have slowly over time....found most....if not all of the keys for dealing with these problems.
Both my mother and father had the same little "toolkit" of attitudes and while one was "acting out" in one 'fashion'......the other was 'feeding' the issue in another. This is because they did not recognize these family patterns in themselves........or valued them more than they were aware that all expression is 'role playing'. The old man was a philanderer and a drifter of sorts....carrying a 'wandering spirit' all his life......too restless to stay with one situation  from too many poor examples 'fed' to him as a Metis child of the early 20th century. He would have suffered social demoralizing because of his rebel status much like southern white and blacks suffered relevant to the slavery issue. The rebellion of 1885 was barely 27 years before he was born......and there were no psyche counselors for such a thing in those days. My mother on the other hand....was born 'po-white-trash' and grew up under strong Methodist parents in the depression era. She was bright and as such....excelled in school and was favored by her mother and father. This background established classic co-dependent tendencies for both parents.......both seeking recognition and acceptance from a culture at war with itself . The second world war made Dad bitter and reclusive....... his bitterness and distrust of others proof of his 'poor me'..... but it helped make Mother a classic "caretaker"....in the gregarious way.....who needed martyrdom to feed her 'poor-me' personality parts. These facts create a magnetism which exists in all hero/villian cultures the world over...and carry forward by community consensus generation after generation after generation.
These parental attitudes instilled certain loyalties in my basic character in the 1st 21 months of my life......the period between gestation and 1 year old.  After  that time......the portrait I painted of myself never strayed too far from these "loyalties" so I was able to alter the 'program' marginally......at best. When I began to have broad experiences in epiphanies around 16-17yrs....the structures that I clung to became weaker and weaker. There were many years following where my 'faces' were masked in insecurities. I went forward at times with the boldness of a warrior only to suddenly find myself against one of those early learned 'loyalties'. It has taken many years of effort to change the automatic response mechanisms in myself. None of this was easy simply because none of the other 'adoption' was easy . We have to want to continuously change our views in life and keep at it for there are no true plateaus.......no simple rights and wrongs..... no final correctness of behavior........no perfect morality. The truth lies between the margin of social awareness and the attempt to strip away the 'social codes'. Certain facets of my "parental loyalties" have even helped me acquire release from their dogmas. One of the most powerful tools 9 of 10 people have is the use of self-hypnosis or visualization and the technique of auto-suggestion to deal with these matters. I am the 10th person........who shut all that off a long time ago.......and had to learn to see 3dimensional life as an on-going dream.......to deal with my past. It is a lot tougher 'row to hoe'......to be sure. If you still possess the ability to slip from alpha to theta.......you are fortunate because you can make change effective much quicker. I know this as fact for it is one of the things I've taught many others how to re-learn and use. If you have the gift intact still..........and don't use it purposely..........then you are fooling yourself because the only "god or goddess" of true value to learn from....is the one deep inside your mind. No external "other" can ever accomplish for you what your own can.

soul........mate.......for everyone??

I love Natasha Bedingfield's song on this issue when she wonders if everyone has a perfect match. We would all love to believe the universe has a special love for us....one who can love us the way we need the best. The trouble is that it is such a fanciful childish idea. How do we know what is best for us when we are so subjective to simple physical needs ? This subjectivity guides every sensual experience we have......whether it is sexual or any other form of physical comforting. Yeah...I write songs about it and I can tell story after story after story which fascinate and draw comparatives but the nuances of reality are missed by those who fail to fully experience  the stages  in our lives. For example......Suzanne once held a strong image of the last woman I'd ever fully connect with.......even while both of us recognized ours was but choice. I know now....that 'perfect match' isn't the case at all.

There are many out there who I could share life with in the same ways as with her.....but they must first reach beyond the boundaries imposed on them by cultural training. She has been a powerful muse......as is everyone....a reflection of desire to understand my own indiosyncratic attachment to living. Its not to say I don't love her ....for nothing could be further than the truth.....in fact I believe I love her better....now....than when I met her because I don't really NEED her anymore.  This fact.....that she cannot provide  me with a sense of self but can contribute to it in parallel ways....opens many doors of possibilities. She is the seventh in a long series of relationships to understand growth stages of my spirit.......no more.....but no less either.....and that I believe....is the most powerful way to live life. Ten years ago I asked for and was granted a wish, if you'll allow me the metaphor, a wish to find deep memories of the impressionistic images I experienced before I was around 5 years old. It has largely been the interactions with Suzanne which allowed me this experience. I have since learned to understand how children 'connect' through experience to our world in a much deeper way and  why a child needs reassurance in its struggle for independence and I do not mean in some contrived sociological manner....I mean encouragement far beyond acceptable social practices.....encouragement free of parental loyalties.  Without this kind of encouragement we tend to play 'follow the leader' like lemmings....and continuously wind up in the same situations of dementia.....wondering what the hell it was all about....