"corners of your caste"

an old abandoned shack you're in,

the corners of your caste...

I've come to you to look again,

at all you thought had passed.....

it hurts when we find shadowed rooms,

with things so well we hide...

we are reborn by facing this,

in truth love has no pride....

you may believe a dream's just dream,

a mental fantasy....

for you can turn them on or off,

some not so easily...

yet dreams are all the imagery,

of how we really feel...

they leave aside our reasoning,

and show us what is real...

and the lover's sleeping in your heart

cuz' all your love's so strained

and you never learn to let it roll

still stumbling in this old game

the shack is how you see your heart,

and shadows fill its rooms...

the child inside still so afraid,

it may never leave the tomb...

when it cannot stop the nightmares,

that were written for the play...

it will value all its failures,

and re-live them every day...

caution is your blocking now,

and you won't let me in....

but that ain't the way our love began,

trust me throw it to the wind....

for when the wolf shows up knocking,

he knows what you must do...

and I gave my all my everything,

so the rest is up to you.....

"Preparing for change"

     The more I watch the world news and connect the 'economic dots' the more I think our economies are slowly washing away. This is going to have a far greater impact in the next ten years than many of you believe.  I do not relate my opinion to the "Tumble of 2008" alone, for I've watched the industrial world with increasing interest since Opec was formed in 72'. During this time frame, the way our economies were structured became increasingly subject to population growth and fluctuating economic phases of result. As resource bases were compromised from the marketing offshore of technologies and eventually opposing technologies competed for resource it became more and more obvious, to some, that N America was headed for a fall.....more than a 'top placement' in world power. In the circular way history shows the rise and fall of civilizations.....those which cannot maintain the health of their members eventually corrode. That corrosive aspect of industrial N America has grown exponentially alongside its division of classes. What once was enabled through exploitation of raw resource has moved beyond its place of dominion and is retreating in accordance with natural law. The exodus of workers from the crash of 29' was addressed through government work projects while industrialists found European despots to market our fascination with mobility . The increase in oil production during and after WWII created even more population movement as farming became less and less profitable for family farms and more people began moving to urban areas seeking employment. my family moved in such a way during the late 50s to take part in opportunities from the Texas oil production boom. These facts helped us re-build an over-free economy into the post WWII global power we thought would never change.
     Alas...how we are so blind in our institutions. As Eisenhower warned in his retirement speech, armies have become big business......the world over.....and this has done nothing for longevity of humanity for it has produced several generations of 'spoiled' children who think only of themselves....both here and abroad. The tenacity of this thinking has maintained the industrial complexity of modern civilization to the point of massive over abundance and equally massive under abundance to massive over population....which still thinks in basic selfish ways. All this tracking of mine is part of the reason I live where I do....surrounded by a lot of wilderness. I seemed to see, a long time ago, we are all headed into a far more basic way of living. I think if I'd had a partner who loved the wildness as much as I, when I was younger, I'd have been living out in the wilds somewhere long before now. You can't drag them off by the hair any more....at least that's what I was taught.

    So..... I think its going to be a year of preparing for change and activating such, as the year unfolds. Since I'm in a transitional phase of my life again....relevant to age, health, job, etc.....I may as well be bold enough to consider a physical move as well. We've looked at the idea of selling our home and entering into a co-operative with folks of like mind. Insofar as basic live and let live ethics portray, our particular prerogatives lean more toward organization of...and willful intent to follow through with a small co-operative than some idealistic based nonsense. Proven long-standing  shared land co-ops do exist across this continent and the protocols for starting such are already in place, so I don't see the difficulty in the legal matters to start. Committment as well as mature comprehension, may prove more problematic to locate but I'm willing to listen to all comers. My interest in "hippie-trippy-dippy" nonsense is absolutely nil as we are projecting something long-term which will require maturity and a broad scope of intelligence as well. Where the problems begin is finding others who either have on hand or can, in a reasonable amount of time, raise the necessary funds to pursue such. That is just the basic criteria. Our aim of like-mind would include willingness to participate in all areas of governance and, as well, strong interest in land conservancy, ecological sustainability, organic farming, alternate energy sources, home schooling, alternative medicines, communal transportation, and anything of parallel value to these parameters.

"for those who wish"

for those of you who've never loved....nor chanced beyond your sandbox door,

who chose to merely watch or wait......for heroes, villians, and acts of war.

for all  convinced they'll never see.......the tender places of life's confines,

and ponder long through storms inside........did god include in his design.

for every man who pays no time............to touch the gentle hands within

and thus cannot conceive the all............but separateness chaotic whim

for every broken hearted wife........... tempting death by sharpened blade,

in anger thru her choices wove..............who won't admit tis' her parade.

for those who hunger never wans.............and lonely destitution reigns

refusing to give up their want..............believing in eternal pain.

I offer each and every man..........each lad or lass to woman born,

a taste of something bittersweet...........if brave enough to sail the horn.

its there beyond horizons passed.......the make up of belief and act,

as hidden in the folds of time................a fiction mixed among the fact.

its not among the mountain tops............nor buried in archaic song,

you cannot grasp it with your hands............tho its been here all along.

you are of this and blind will stand.........lost in guessing games and rhyme

until you feel its gentle beat..........between the moments of your time

"Broken Down Gods"

He walked, down a road, paved with broken down gods

in search, of a memory, he needed to clear

I warned, his believin, was trustin' to images

cuz' gods, are illusions, created from fear

he'd come, from a young life, of glory in war

abandoned, by his love, a long time ago

his faith, and his trust, forever was shattered

in broken down saviors, who he'll never know

I asked him, do you really need it, now think before answerin' me

some other god, to ease all your pain

cuz' if you're still waitin', on broken down saviors

you're never gonna find, the one in your name

storms full of anger, had left all his wounding

and dark, were the demons, who clawed at his eyes

he'd seen thru the blind, to find he was livin'

lessons of love, that were based on broken down lies

its time to return, he most close his circle

when one runs away, they will always return

for when we keep runnin', we lose to our demons

from avoiding all the wonder we came here to earn

chorus again

He's walkin' with new eyes, down the same broken road

re-paving his old mind with new steppin' stones

he's learnin' his new gods were just versions of old ones

who came to replace the shape he'd outgrown

we can't run away cuz' life moves in circles

our journey will return where we begin

believin' with blind faith is part of the journey

but sooner or later we must know it comes from within

welcome to "Tinker-Bella"

In 1999, shortly before I met Suzi Q.......I drove south 350 miles to Vernon one afternoon to bring back a 5ton rental truck for a good friend who was moving to the eastern U.S. On the way, passing through 100 MileHouse BC , I spotted a roadside vendor selling those popular fleece type blankets. A beautiful golden queen size with a Tiger caught my eye....so unmistakeably intense....that I asked my buddy to turn around and go back. He glanced at me and I told him 'spirit' was telling me to buy this blanket and I'd soon know why. Tim, my buddy, has been through a lot of things with me and has learned to accept my intuitions without question so he did just that. I'm not one to be frivolous with money...at all....but when 'spirit' says do something in an unmistakeable fashion I almost always try to comply. The tiger blanket was not cheap at 90$ but it sure made the fellow happy and that's a good thing too. We carried on into Vernon, picked up the truck, and returned home somewhere around 4 or 5AM. I brought the blanket in and threw it across my sofa ( one I'd acquired at the local swap shed ) to brighten up my rather Spartan furnishings.........divorce and living away from your home can leave one without many of the comforts we formerly owned.....but thats another story.
      The first time Suzanne came to one of my healing/teaching/learning sessions......she promptly commented on how beautiful the 'tiger' was. That was the time another clairvoyant commented that our auras turned to gold and fully joined when we sat at opposite ends of the sofa. I knew something powerful was happening during the days that followed and....well....many of you now know the journey. It was shortly after that I gave her her 'spirit name' during a ceremony one evening. The name came to me easily in the ceremony...'Tiger Lily'.......even though I thought it was kind of 'funny' at the time. When I discovered that Suzanne means 'lily'.....in an older more ancient tongue....sometime later...I was satisfied.
       Recently.....we acquired a female Boxer pup from friends who raise them. Suzanne used to raise them as well and they are probably....her favorite dog. She had the last of her dogs when I met her...Tawny.....who died in typical 'Boxer style' ( heart-attack ) a few years ago......as a matter of fact just two years before ol' Jake the bear. We have been dogless since because neither of us felt like another until babysitting the son's "Pitty" for most of the winter reminded how much fun they are....among all other attributes. So now we have 'Tinker-Bella'......or just Bella for ease of training etc.

       Suzanne had decided to call her Belle at first but I argued for something quite a bit more 'in tune' with us but....we couldn't agree until she walked into a close friend's.......with Belle for the first time.....and when her three year-old  heard her name she promptly spit out "Tinkerbella". I was not there at this time and when Suzanne told me the next day.....I stopped...drew a breath.....and said, "I'll be damned...... 'spirit' is speaking through the little child and confirming something I'd always wondered about. You see...I've long doubted if Sue really trusted some of my deeper intuitions until they play themselves out in a graphic way through our tangible lives.  When I began talking about the kid's name for the pup....I realized Suzanne had no connection between Tigerlily and Tinkerbella. Surprised....I asked her if she'd ever read Peter Pan. She said no......just saw the movies. When I told her who her namesake was she was rather quietly amazed. In discussing this with her I notice,  once again,  the reasons why we were drawn together at the point of contact.  She has a simple abiding faith that time and a gentle way removes all boundaries of love....which spawns from a long, 'quiet path' of self-analysis.....since she was a girl . It goes hand in hand with a far better example of parenthood....than I had.....and the witnessing of daily love between her parents when she was an infant, toddler, and adolescent. My levels of trust were built on my intuitiveness in a different way and much more aggressive in nature, but nonetheless powerful.....for I trusted my spirit to guide me through my life....and still do. My early formed distrust of my parent...and thus all adults in general......and learning to accept the harsh equations as part of the program made it far easier for me to find perspective from "failure"....and showed me there is always a way back to 'light' or love. It comes from growing up always feeling alone...or separate....from social consensus.  I try to express this in the song I wrote titled "Legend".

    Those of you who struggle with different issues...such as those we've discussed herein during our time together.....both personal and when we've written them in comments and/or as part of our blogs.....will realize that even at the deeper levels of comprehending the nature of our inner-children we still deal in consensual patterns daily. The difference is in how we deal with them. It is this.....how I deal.......that allows me to read between written lines and traverse each of your emotional minds...at times....with such clarity that sometimes you are astounded. What I find reassuring....as well astounding.....is that all of you still 'ride the river' with me. Your love is truly a blessing.

Albert Einstein quote

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

society....the essentials of personal tragedy

Has it ever crossed your mind that  the essential base of all social order is a tragedy. Think about it.  In Western culture.......the hero/villian equations which were lived on a daily basis during the bulk of the last century.......and for certain......a part of daily life in all centuries theretofore.....still continue in practice through war, romance, and natural disasters.
Television mediums such as video games, movies, and simple newscasts constantly remind us of our need to vindicate life by heroism. Even the pursuit of spiritualism from Buddhist form to Wicca popularizes itself in terms of the "heroic quest". For example.....young ....."Siddhartha was born to privelege and renounced all to find the truth of life.......eventually 'rising' from the 'ashes' to become the "awakened one" the first "Buddha". All pandering to the traditions which encompass far earlier forms of worship still exemplify the heroic quest. The ancient primal 'earth-mother' in Greek...Gaia....a composite of two older words 'ge' and thought to be pre-greek through the Sumerian word 'Ki'.......plus 'aia' which stems from Indo-European origins meaning 'grandmother' morph in context to tragic relevance for 'gaia' is the base god from which Greek society stems. She is merely a metaphor trying to explain a union between earth and the heavens but in her explanation follows a huge family tree of heroes and villians pandering to all that was seen as the 'tragedies' of life.
Thus from our earliest forms of self-recognition we self-accept these roles of hero/villian in a never ending self-manipulating social tragedy. Of all the creatures at the waterhole.......humans seem to be the only ones capable of creating scenarios of 'loss' with which they justify dominion over their fellows....both animal and other. Its small wonder the planet is in such a state of polluted conflict, eh ?
So on a personal level....would it not seem that the way of release is to understand personal need at the deepest of form. Without such an understanding how will we ever know when we are projecting 'loss scenarios' which seem to be 'gain scenarios' ? Most of humanity is a far cry from recognizing how important 'loss' is to to them..........and without 'loss' we cannot feel comfortable within the martyrdom of dominion we have socially created.